This usually brings about a series of emotions and actions, none of which are healthy. A pessimistic attitude takes over, and you find yourself doubting everything. You start to believe that positive outcomes and happy endings are only for the "lucky," "spoiled," and "wealthy." Things that once made you smile, now annoy you. You push people away, especially if they try to "cheer you up" or offer advice, as they now seem more annoying than ever.
Paranoia often sets in, and you may truly believe that everyone you know is out to get you. You become overwhelmed with negativity, and you swim freely in your own sorrow. You snap at those closest to you, for reasons even you can't define. Self-pity becomes a strange comfort, and you spend more and more time worrying, hating, blaming. It's easy to blame everyone else, especially your parents. Of course you're THIS way now; look how they raised you! It MUST be their fault!
So, what brings us out of this pit of misery? Everyone always seems to bounce back, somehow. Well, maybe not EVERYBODY. Some succumb to the "escape" of drugs or alcohol, or at worst, suicide. But that's not the norm. Normal, average people have their highs and lows in life. But what brings us out of the bottom of the barrel? And once you're scraping the bottom of the barrel, how long is it before there's no barrel left?
I don't know the answer to a single one of these questions. But I do know that it DOES happen. You DO find your way out of the mess. Somewhere along the line, a tiny spark of optimism lights a fire under your ass and you take on a whole new aura. Sometimes it happens in a split-second. Sometimes it's a slower process. But it still happens...
The enormity of your problems begin to shrink, even when the problems haven't technically gotten any better. They just SEEM better, smaller, more manageable. You find yourself laughing at things that are funny and cute once again, and sentimental notions make you gleam. You have a clear head and a good idea of how to go about solving your problems, and you may wonder, "Why didn't I think of this before?"
Once you've hit this point, the sky is the limit, so it seems. You can freely compliment people, without a grain of resentment. When asked, "How are you?" you can honestly answer with a smile, "I'm good!" Tackling problems becomes a personal challenge instead of a personal attack. Before you know it, half your problems are gone simply because of your optimism.
We may never know what causes these emotional ups and downs. But we should always carry optimism's proverbial book of matches, just in case we need that extra little spark to pull us out of the mud. It's truly a self-taught lesson in emotional self-control. You're the only one who can pull yourself out the dumps, you just have to tighten the reigns.
Maybe this is my personal pep-talk to pull myself out of the funk I've been in, but it seemed worthy of sharing... just in case anyone else needed a spark. Take your sinking ship and point it home.
