Ok, I take it all back.

Whatever I was rambling about last year being the worst year ever... disregard. 2009 has proven that it's going to treat me MUCH worse than any of the "easy" drama from last year.

Nothing is worse than when your own family backs out on every promise they ever made to you. Every member of my family has literally LEFT me to my own devices. Then they give me hell when I don't do EVERYTHING right. Gee, ya think? I'm not that perfect little daughter - I am a human being who's family ditched her.

I've made so many changes for the better recently, but so much shit just keeps piling on top of me, that making those changes seems futile. And the only confirmation I get to prove that the changes I've made have made a difference in a good way, comes from the people who see me every day, and can see the progress on a realistic scale. And I'm grateful for them, but when you want the approval and appreciation of even your own mother, and you get just the opposite, you start to question your real value to the world.

"Depression is looking back and having no pride, and looking forward and having no hope." That says it all.

Not even sure why I decided to post this on my blog because it's not going to fit in to well with the other posts. But it's my blog, and I'll post what I want.