The Daily Gag

For many people, a daily vitamin and occasional Tylenol doses are the only pills they ever have to take. For those of us who are blessed with lifelong medical issues, daily vitamins and Tylenol just don't cut it. I take ELEVEN pills each day. And that's just to keep me out of the hospital!

My medical issues are moderate. I have Crohn's Disease and Generalized Anxiety with Depression. As long as I take my medicine as scheduled, these issues don't interfere with daily life. What DOES interfere with my daily life, however, is the handful of pills I have to take each day! I have been doing it for years, so you would think swallowing a few pills at a time would be simple. On the contrary, it seems my gag reflex has only grown more sensitive as the years go by.

Each morning, I divide my pile o' pills into three or four smaller piles. The first pile always goes down easy with a gulp of water. The second one goes down, but causes me to get that "gag-face." By the time I'm ready for the third pile, my throat has decided it no longer wants to play this game, and goes into lock down. The pills get stuck at the back of my tongue, where they slowly start to disintegrate, leaving a taste in my mouth that could very possibly be compared to the taste of ass. Which, in turn, sparks the gag reflex once again, and I'm stuck in pill-purgatory until my throat accepts the disgusting mixture. For the next hour, I am stuck with this nasty ass-pill taste in my mouth, and the gag-face becomes my semi-permanent mug.

I have tried to take all eleven pills at once. Ha. Ha. Ha. NO. Enough said.